18 Video Tapes
by GoDale13
Summary: What if Harm knew he was going to die before Mac was going to have their baby? This is a song fic based on 18 Video Tapes by Jason Meadows.


AN: I was inspired to write this story when I heard the song 18 Video Tapes by Jason Meadows. I felt like it was perfect for Harm. I kept Harm and Mac at the JAG office under Admiral Chegwidden. Noone was transferred or anything. Please tell me what you think about this. This is my first Fic!!

Harm was to have a physical the day before he was to ship out for a three-month long deployment on the USS Seahawk.

"Harm, the test results show a high white blood cell count," the doctor informed. "I'd like to do some more tests before I let you go."

"Jack, I went to my home doctor, and he has already told me that I have incurable cancer. He told me that at best I have four good months left. I want to do this deployment. Mac and the Admiral already know about it," Harm explained.

"Wouldn't you rather spend time at home with Sarah and the baby?"

"Mac and I talked about that already. We didn't know about the baby until after I found out. While I am on board, I am going to go around filming the life that I love. It'll be kind of like what my dad did for me."

"Alright, Harm. I'm going to sign you through, don't make me regret this," Jack said signing the papers.

"When have I ever made you regret something?" Harm asked, smiling at the doctor.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Jack said, shaking Harm's head. "Take care Captain Rabb."

His first day on the ship, Harm started his first video tape. "Before I begin to teach you all that a father should, I want to tell you who your father is. I lost my father, your grandpa, when I was six. He was shot down during the Vietnam War. From then on, I made it my goal to become exactly what he was: a fighter pilot. And that's just what I did. But I had a crash landing one night, and was hurt. That's when I decided to become a JAG lawyer. At JAG I met your mom, Bud, Harriet, and the Admiral, or A. J. These people are like my family, and I am sure they will treat you as such.

"The reason that I am recording this is because, before you were born, I was diagnosed with an incurable cancer. I didn't want you growing up without knowing who your father truly was. Your mom is the best thing that ever happened to me, and you are the proof of that. I want to teach you everything that I can. That way you won't learn by mistakes. That isn't easy, trust me," Harm told the camera.

It took eighteen video tapes for him to explain: one for each year. When he finished each one, he would send it home with a note to Mac. He made Mac promise not to play them until the baby asked where his dad was.

_Four months later_

Harm had been back in the states for a month, before he began to go downhill. He and Mac finally told those of the JAG family that didn't know about his cancer.

On January 10th, the anniversary of when the two first met, Harm slipped out of this world, and William "Billy" Harmon Rabb was born. Harm's mother flew in a week before, and stayed to help Mac adjust.

_8 years later_

Mac was sitting on her back porch with the JAG family watching her little boy pretend the swing set was a fighter jet with Little AJ.

"He's growing up, Mac," Harriet said.

"They both are, Harriet."

That night after everyone left, Billy finally asked where his father was. "Your daddy had to go live with Jesus before you were born. But he made me promise to show you these video tapes of him," she explained before walking into her room to retrieve the box of tapes.

"Your dad was a brave man who fought for everything that he believed was right. He wanted so much to be here to watch you grow up, but God was ready to bring him home."

_One day little Billy said momma where's my dad?_

_Fightin' back the tears she said I knew one day you'd ask_

_She walked him down the hallway to a closet with a safe_

_And said I think you'll find the answer right here on these_

_18 video tapes_

_You see the doctors told him he'd be gone before you were born_

_It broke his heart to know he'd never hold you in his arms_

_Determined not to let you grow up learnin' from mistakes_

_He put everything he thought you'd need to know_

_On 18 video tapes_

_Like here's the way you hold a bat_

_Be sure to keep that shoulder back_

_When you cast that rod and reel_

_Use your wrist, it's in the feel_

_When you learn to ride your bike_

_I'll tell you now that you won't like those trainin' wheels_

_But your momma will_

Harm had explained to Mac that each video tape is for each year of Billy's life, so Mac gave him one every year on his birthday. The boy watched the tapes as often as he could. As he grew up, Billy would ask everyone about Harm. He wanted to know everything that he could.

_From that day on his momma showed him one of them a year_

_And sometimes it was almost like his dad was really there_

_Sometimes he laughed sometimes he cried but he always walked away_

_Havin' learned another lesson from his dad on those 18 video tapes_

_Like when you shave don't get too close_

_Lose the hair but leave the nose_

_When your momma gives you my old truck_

_Don't drive too fast or ride the clutch_

_Don't listen to your buddies son_

_When the conversation comes to the birds and bees_

_Just go to tape 18_

He grew to see the Admiral as a grandfather-figure, and constantly went to him for advice. His senior year in high school, Billy decided to join the Marine Corp as a pilot; thus combining both of his parent's legacies.

By the time he came to the last video tape, Billy was a grown man about to marry the love of his life. The wedding date was set for November 16, and Mac decided to give him the last tape the night before. This tape was about love, marriage, how Harm felt about knowing he was going to have a child.

Billy could recite that video tape better than any of the others. And he would keep every word in his heart.

_Well, I just need to tell you one more this before I go_

_It won't be long you'll have a little baby of your own_

_Be there for them everyday no mater what it takes_

_Even if you have to put your love on 18 video tapes_

Billy was assigned to go to Iraq just one week after he and Amy, his wife, found out that they were having a baby. Remembering his father's words, "Even if you have to put your love on 18 video tapes, tell your family how much you love them," Billy set out making a set of tapes of his own.

_One day little Billy said Mama where's my dad?_

Billy Jr. asked his mom, "Where's daddy?"

"He's fighting a war, baby," Amy said, to her young son.

"No, I'm not," a voice said from behind her. "I'm home to stay." Amy turned around to see her husband standing tall in the doorway wearing the infamous Rabb smile. She ran up to him smiling. "I want my son to know the real me, not just a man on the television screen."


End file.
